R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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