Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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