I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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