Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this beer tastes like vomit already
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
