Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
