i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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