Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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