alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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