So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
