Already got asked if we're dating
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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