Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
