You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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