I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
