Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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