So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
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mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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