It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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