Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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