We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize