Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
