everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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