sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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