how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
