remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
