she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
