If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
