is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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