the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
