I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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