Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
