honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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