Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize