what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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