community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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