THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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