I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
