So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?