Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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