Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im six kinds of drunk right now
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.