Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

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(212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods http://tfl.nu/urut

Replies (8) Good night (1416) Bad night (560)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

it was like his penis was on wheels.

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(479): it was like his penis was on wheels. http://tfl.nu/carq

Replies (13) Good night (3440) Bad night (1394)
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(626): View more from California

Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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(626): Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting. http://tfl.nu/7nt8

Replies (30) Good night (810) Bad night (4515)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055

Replies (49) Good night (1534) Bad night (7671)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

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(618): Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window. http://tfl.nu/h7i3

Replies (22) Good night (1273) Bad night (4182)
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(817): View more from Texas

You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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(817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn

Replies (44) Good night (7426) Bad night (4101)
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(212): View more from New York

Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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(212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k

Replies (18) Good night (1331) Bad night (4614)
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(540): View more from Virginia

First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.

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(540): First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete. http://tfl.nu/s0lg

Replies (22) Good night (5233) Bad night (1079)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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(412): Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over http://tfl.nu/fq6e

Replies (6) Good night (1063) Bad night (3440)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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(306): So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate http://tfl.nu/7nyf

Replies (7) Good night (722) Bad night (2246)
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(207): View more from Maine

Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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(207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3

Replies (16) Good night (1966) Bad night (1007)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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(479): It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule. http://tfl.nu/n9xy

Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1276)
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(954): View more from Florida

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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(954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv

Replies (9) Good night (935) Bad night (556)
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(207): View more from Maine

I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...

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(207): I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor... http://tfl.nu/nzpk

Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (567)
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(347): View more from New York

Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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(347): Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that.. http://tfl.nu/n8po

Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (429)

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