So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize