Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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