why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
