hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
