She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
