Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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