we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
