Can i not drive my cunt home
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
