I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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