Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
