My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
