you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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