This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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