i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
