at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
