So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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