Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When are your genitals available?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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