you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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