Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
