if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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