Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
