I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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