how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
