omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
