if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
